Today

Today I hurt. I remember the hurt and it still feels real. The pain of being ignored and unprotected. The pain of rape and abuse that went unseen when every part of me screamed inside to be seen. To be noticed. To be loved. I just wanted love. Acceptance. To know that I wasn’t the problem that I wasn’t worthless. To be told that I mattered, my body and opinions of how it should be used mattered. To be intrinsically valuable. My mere humanity creating my worth.

Today I hurt to remember the child I was. I look at my 11 year old daughter and wonder how on earth someone could be so messed up that they see her as a sex object. She is a child. I remember that was me- but no one stepped up to protect me. The harm was hidden and behind closed doors. My heart breaks at the kind of pain that would put into action the plans that were commonplace. Plans to take my life. I looked at the blades but I never put them to my wrists. Today I remember the pain of the past. It reverberates through every part of my being.

I hate to think of of the hidden pain that drives a child to attempt to take their life. I hurt to know that pain is in so many, so close to me. How do we as adults explain the overwhelming emotion? How do I equip my students and children to ask for help? How do I ensure their whispered cries are heard? How do we as adults teach our children to articulate the feelings, to give voice to the confusion inside?

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addinggrace

I’m a wife, mother and teacher. Navigating the uncertainties of life with the aid of unending grace.

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